First of all, I’d like to thank God for letting me live for another year. I don’t know if I still deserve this, but hopefully I do.

That’s right, folks. I’ve turned 32 on November 4. Happy birthday to me!

How do I feel now? Surprisingly, like 22. I guess it’s a good thing, because it’s exactly like what my brotherly, hazel-eyed best friend T has told me:

“It’s not about how old you are; it’s about how you feel.”


I guess I’ve reached the point where I begin to loosen up a bit more. That doesn’t mean I’m getting lazier, though. I’ve accepted the fact that I’m only human. I’m not perfect, but then again…nobody is. I’m not a superhero; I can get tired and feel sick too. I’m not always brave and strong.

This time, I’m not going to be way too nice – especially to those who have taken an advantage of me too much and taken me for granted. Sorry, I’m tired. I need to take care of myself too. I don’t care if they think I’m selfish. I’m not cleaning up after them anymore. It’s their mess, not mine. I’m not even sure they’d do the same for me, because – as far as I have seen – I don’t get much but tiredness.

Alright, how are things lately?

All I’ve seen these days are ‘anything people will do for love’. A single father has decided to move to a town where his only daughter lives with her mother (his ex-wife, of course) and stepfather (his ex-wife’s new husband.) He just wants to be close to his little girl. There’s also this growing fear that – someday – she might be taken away far from him. (God, I hope both parents can settle their issues for the sake of their kid.)

A man has travelled to another continent, only to be with the one he loves. (Not everybody is either brave, strong, or even both – to risk their hearts out for a long-distant relationship.) Even though it ended sadly – where they both had to be apart, due to inevitable circumstances – I’d like to give them both a credit for having tried to work it out, despite the odds. I wish I had at least half of their courage for that. Even a romantically-challenged skeptic would be thrilled if some decent guy would do all that for her.

Will there be a happy ending for them? I really hope so. I find myself deeply caring for them, no matter what. One of them has even told me that these days are just bizarre.


Hmm, what else? How about a best friend willing to stay longer, in order not to miss your birthday? It was really sweet, because you didn’t even ask him to. What could have been better than that? Him treating you like a kid sister, pampering and supporting you at the same time. He knows just how to boost your spirit, taking care of you while knowing when to let you make up your own mind.

In other words, he understands you very, very well. Best of all, he really cares.

Not only that, once again he has helped you to rediscover yourself. You’ve realized that you’re important too. You’ve been working way too hard. You need to restore the balance in your life. You need to fight for your dreams, seek for your true happiness, and not let anybody stand in your way at all costs.

I love writing so much. I feel that I always will. I’ve attended a workshop and met an interested editor. Time to start working hard…for this dream.





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