Oh, how I long to be

what the world demands of me

I want them all to see

that I’m also valid as a true beauty

Still, I don’t meet their requirements

Their mockery and insults are my torments

Why am I damned?

Who are they to condemn?

I know this sounds like a lame old song

I’ve decided to play along

I know this is wrong

but it’s hard to carry on

So I shed these extra kilos,

which in real life just won’t be lost

as instantly as I want them to, you know?

Still, they refuse to see them in this show

It’s my body

but they think it’s their property

It’s my flaws they refuse to see

For now, I’ll just pretend that I’m really free

“You’re so beautiful!”

Oh, my – they’ve fallen into this bull

which I’ve created to the fullest

Is this my kind of success?

Now they love me more

but I don’t feel any greater

as I glance at that girl in the mirror

the wounded soul of the oppressed cheater, liar, and self-traitor…


(Jakarta, 4/1/2015 – 6:00 am)


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