Oh, how I long to be
what the world demands of me
I want them all to see
that I’m also valid as a true beauty
Still, I don’t meet their requirements
Their mockery and insults are my torments
Why am I damned?
Who are they to condemn?
I know this sounds like a lame old song
I’ve decided to play along
I know this is wrong
but it’s hard to carry on
So I shed these extra kilos,
which in real life just won’t be lost
as instantly as I want them to, you know?
Still, they refuse to see them in this show
It’s my body
but they think it’s their property
It’s my flaws they refuse to see
For now, I’ll just pretend that I’m really free
“You’re so beautiful!”
Oh, my – they’ve fallen into this bull
which I’ve created to the fullest
Is this my kind of success?
Now they love me more
but I don’t feel any greater
as I glance at that girl in the mirror
the wounded soul of the oppressed cheater, liar, and self-traitor…
(Jakarta, 4/1/2015 – 6:00 am)