“AFTER A YEAR OF LIVING ON MY OWN…”

It has been a year since I moved out of my family’s home. How is it going so far?

It’s going great. It’s probably not much of an issue to some people in the world, but it is still quite one in this country despite the many practitioners here – most especially in urban areas.

It’s even a much bigger issue if you happen to be a single woman. No kidding. No matter what you do, people will always judge you. Whatever choices that you make, they will always question and scrutinize you.

In other words, people will always have something to say.

I moved out of my family’s house in April last year and started renting a room in the more central part of this city, close to where I work. Why? It’s simple: I’ve completely lost my tolerance with the heavy traffic these days. If you can still put up with having to wake up super early, going to work, getting stuck in the traffic for long hours there and back, coming home late because of the traffic again, losing sleep because you have to bring some work home and then you still have to do that all over again – day in, day out – then good for you. Not everyone can stay that way and that’s okay. We all have choices to make and there’s no need to judge each other.

It wasn’t easy when I first moved out. Some people supported my decision, others didn’t. Some others just didn’t care. Typical life. Those who supported me – and still do – have said that I needed a change in my life and deserved my own personal space and solitude. Those who didn’t had thought that I was rather heartless, because I’d moved out in two months after my father’s funeral. How could I have done so?

There were those who’d had second thoughts about me…and my decision to start living alone. They’d said I’d never last in less than three months. They’d said I’d feel lonely. They’d said I wouldn’t be able to take it all and put up with it, because – according to them – I’m just nothing more than a cry-baby acting tough, just to prove that I am Ms.Independent.

You know how it is. People can always have something to say, even when they have no idea what they’re talking about.

You see, the whole world doesn’t always have to accept or understand my decisions. They don’t even have to like me. I never expect them to understand everything about me. After all, I’m not the centre of this universe.

It has been a very interesting year so far. I have never felt this lively. I’ve joined a writers’ club – and they have become one of my greatest supports and also the best therapy I’ve had over the death of my father. I’ve even managed to finish a novel for the very first time in my life.

I’m aware that I don’t always do everything. (I mean, who ever does, really?) Like when I forgot to take care of myself really well that I ended up falling sick and had to go to the nearest clinic all by myself despite the pain. Most of the time, I’ve tried keeping that from my own family. Why? It’s not that I don’t want them to know – or that I don’t need them anymore. (We all do, like they need us too.)

I just don’t want them to worry. The last thing I ever want is to burden them, because Ma will always ask me to come home if she ever finds out. Besides, I’ve got to learn to take care of myself better. I mean, if I happen to suck at the job, then how will I be able to take care of other people? Right??

Anyway, here’s to you who have thought (or maybe still believe) that I’d never make it and / or something bad is going to happen if I continue staying where I am. Thank you for that much of faith in me, because guess what? It makes me believe in God even more, not you. It’s always all up to Him, never you.

For those of you who have encouraged and supported me, I can never thank you enough. You know who you are. I wouldn’t be here if it hadn’t been you.

R.

 

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