It’s the same old story;
one that remains untold.
The characters acting happy
as reality remains cold.
they always say.
“It’s always just another ordinary day.”
Oh, say whatever they may!
I wish it weren’t so,
but I guess some things can be thicker than blood.
I can only be as far as I can go,
even with what I’ve got.
Tell me you love me.
I know you always will,
but how come those words sound so empty,
like this numbness within that slowly kills?
“You’re not making any sense,”
they’d (try to) reason.
“Why don’t you tear down your wall of defenses?”
Still, doubts are all that I’ve been given.
Hopefully, I’m just crazy
and this is not always about money.
Even when some things may be thicker than blood,
do they have to mean a lot?
“Everything’s going to be okay.”
Right, but you’re completely missing it.
“Your baseless accusations have led you astray.”
Still, you’re in constant denial and I’m exhausted.
Will you always want to know where I’ll be,
even with nothing in my pocket?
Do you ever really see
these tired eyes in my sockets?
I guess some things are thicker than blood,
and I’m trying hard not to feel like a complete loser.
You often ask more than I’ve got,
and this is getting even harder.
Talk to me,
or should I make an appointment in advance
for your precious time and energy?
Life isn’t just all about your constant demands,
and I’ve had it with your closed-off reprimands.
Will it always be like this
until we reach the point of our mental crisis?
(Jakarta, 18/4/2015 – 9:30 pm)