“Where’s your most favourite place in the world?”
That’s one tough question if you ask me. The answers may vary, depending on how I feel. The situations may change.
My room is where I want to be when I’m most vulnerable. (I guess that’s just how most people are like.) No one needs to ask me why. You can only be your 100% self when you’re all alone. Let only God know. Spare others your most vicious demons within. Not everything needs to be shown.
They say home is where the heart is. But what if one is the heart of a traveller? What if they just can’t take their pick? Roam around where it takes you. Young hearts run free. That is so true.
Home is where your loved ones are. I guess you can also call each your favourite place, although you don’t always get along with each other. Sometimes you need to retreat when things aren’t getting better. Why? You need to stay sane. Love doesn’t always mean giving it all. You need to keep a part of you where it should stay. What will you become if that part is completely taken away too? Where will you belong?
I guess it’s the hidden fear of emotional-attachment. What if I tell you that eve now, surrounded by more positive and beautiful souls these days, I am still constantly edgy – trying to avoid the comfort zone’s most subtle trap? If someday it disappears too, what will I have got left?
For now, it’s just a stroll. One thing is certain, though. I’ve finally figured out how to make this body as the one and only, favourite home to my soul. (Well, it’s not like I’ve got any other choice. Besides, I still want to live!)
It took me a while, but hopefully I’ll manage to stay feeling this way. After all, happiness is – and should be – one’s personal choice. I suppose that is also why – so far – it is still hard for me to choose. I mean, you could abandon me in a giant library full of books, with enough F&Bs stored in the kitchen nearby for a month alone, or take me out on a culinary adventure all day, or a cruise under a sunny sky. I’d still call all of them my favourite places. If I got bored, then I’d just move on to something else…while I still could. Why not?
What about now? I still can’t choose one; I want them all. Sitting on the front porch sipping coffee with Ma. Hanging out with my friends at the coffee-shop once a week, writing. Playing with my nephews and niece. Watching TV with my brotherly best friend, before giving a kiss on his forehead as he slowly drifts off to sleep.
Like I’ve said, home is where your loved ones are…
(Jakarta, 27/8/2015 – from the Jakarta’s Couchsurfing Writers’ Club Gathering at Anomali Coffee – Setiabudi One. Topic: “my favourite place”.)