Category Archives: Poetry


Will I ever get to know
the meaning of that look?
I’m afraid to find out as I go
There might be no turning back,
once I’m hooked
Your eyes seem to refuse
to give it all away
I can’t still figure out the cues
but I won’t go crazy about it for days…
…or have I?
Have I already been drawn in too deep,
right to the point I can no longer lie?
I hate this, because I’m disturbed in my sleep
I guess I should just stop
questioning silently
For now, at least
I let you be a mystery
and enjoy every moment in bliss
Someday, I’ll find out what it is
that twinkle in your eyes
and that secret behind your smile…
(Jakarta, 11/9/2017 – 7:15 am)


You will know that I love you

even when I don’t say it

not even out loud

or even when I’m still way too proud

That fact, I have to admit

I still own it



It’s tricky

Sorry, I’m not making this easy

I promise you, though

it won’t be too cliche or tacky


You will know that I love you

and it’s not from how I compliment your looks

Vanity’s not in my books

You never have to look like a supermodel

as long as we can work out our troubles


You’ll be surprised

when I let you win a spar

even when I know I’m right

or don’t feel like putting up a fight

or perhaps just accept that you are

Which one is it?

Take your best bet


You will know that I love you

when I ditch my favourite rock concert

or reschedule my hangout time with friends

just because I find out

that you’ve been hurt

I will surely feel worse


You will know that I love you

when to me, your opinion matters (or starts to)

Still, I make my own choices

but you’ll see that I’m staying

as long as you don’t treat me

like a mere puppet on a string


I’m not the all-too-clingy

I hope you have the patience with me

I don’t want to be some damsel-in-distress

but I still appreciate the help

before I crash

Believe me, I’m still learning how to ask


You will know that I love you

when you apologise for your fluffy hair

but I don’t care

I pay more attention to the redness in your eyes

and I wonder if you too realise


I may appear tough on the outside

because I’m just not the prissy type

I’m willing to take almost anything in the world

but tears in your eyes are probably some of the worst

than all the pain I’ve ever suffered


Last but not least,

you will know that I love you

when I won’t waste time fretting about how you were

but how you are right now even more

and hopefully, you will become someone better

sometime in the future


You will know,

but how far are you willing to go

to that day – when I will start loving you so?


After all I’ve written above

I hope it’s enough

but sorry, I have to break this news:

I’m still not changing my ‘everything’ for you

because I still love myself too

I only do it when I want to…




So, care to find out

what I’m really all about?

For starters,

we need to find a place

where we can meet face to face.


Then we’ll begin from there.

So, what do you say?


(Jakarta, 17-18 November 2017)

“HALF THE SOUND” (A Poem About A Perforated Eardrum)

Half the sound is faintly barricaded
as I turn to the left
The other half is still safe
as I turn to the right
I fear of slowly losing the ability
to enjoy music and voices
slowly consumed by this agony
This is not one of my choices
I need to hear that faintly missing half again,
despite the phantom plug that’s causing me pain.
(Jakarta, 8/9/2017 – 7:30 am – I wrote this before I finally got my ears checked and treated.)

“NO, SIR! (Never About Comfort)”

No, sir!

Where did you get the idea

that it was about comfort?

Where’s your empathy?

Your statement has caused a lot of hurt


No, sir!

How could you ask such things?

Why second-guess the victims?

People like you are the reasons

they never feel safe

reporting what’s caused their bereft


With all due respect, sir

do you have to wait

until this happens to your sister or daughter?

Rape is rape!

As the law enforcement,

You’re supposed to know better


So no, sir

Your biased statement is unacceptable

Your prejudice has stirred up more trouble

You should help us to find the solution

instead of more harsh judgment and condemnation


Do us a favour, sir

have a heart

despite your power

don’t act a lot worse

than those cold-blooded monsters

and society who do nothing

but more victim-shaming…



(Jakarta,21/10/2017 – 8:00 pm)


Oh, I’ve had it with your sick, sappy love songs
Why should I hear them all day long?
Wherever I went, they were up in the air
demanding that I should care
Don’t you have anything else?
Are other genres just second best?
Yes, I am way beyond bored
and starting to wonder
if I should stay away from your stores
I’ve had it with sick, sappy love songs
They all sound depressing
like some stalker’s sad obsessions
I guess my heart can take it no more
always ready to run for the exit door
I need something more empowering
something I really want to sing
Unrequited love shouldn’t feel like a death penalty
With or without him,
I should still be able to feel happy
So, enough with your sick, sappy love songs
even when love has again gone wrong
Maybe I’m still in absolute denial
but I need this attitude, even for a while!
(Jakarta, 8/10/2017 – 11:15 pm)


I believe there’s a reason

your shattered heart’s been revealed

even when you refuse to mention

or worry you may never heal


I know I’m just a stranger

in this other part of universe

I don’t even know how to make you feel better

Even a single poke might turn it worse


Hello, shattered heart

Once again, I’m taking a break from my logic

just to mend your hidden scars

Hopefully, you’ll no longer get sick


Talk to me

I’m right here



(Jakarta, 17/10/2017 – 8:40 am)


You complain about my hair
You make me want to swear
or the chubbiness in my cheeks
which somehow gives you the creeps
Then you go on with my nose
as if that isn’t close
to insulting my appearance
You won’t even waste your chance
After that, the colour of my skin
too dark for you that I need some whitening cream
but I’m not your canvass
God, why won’t you give it a rest?
Next, is my extra fat
which you consider really bad
You act like you’ve earned a PhD
on how to be healthy
They tell me to ignore you
so that’s what I do
but hey, you still carry on
even when I’ve had it; I’m done
Perhaps you think you mean well
but your big, nasty mouth has been my living hell
How do I get you to shut up
without slapping you to stop?
Who are you to judge?
Why do you keep playing God?
Perhaps, I’m not your ideal beauty
but hey, your wicked heart is really, really ugly!
(Jakarta, 26/9/2017 – 6:40 pm)